From The Passenger Seat Of A Plymouth Voyager

Stuck on the highway. In the cold like this. Stuck on the highway with the car broken. In the fucking cold. They're all gonna drive by me, half way between the Twin Cities and Des Moines and they'll see my fucking car stuck on this fucking highway and think I'm some sort of idiot who doesn't know how to read a gas gauge, or I'm some kind of incompetent idiot who drove into the ditch and they won't know that I died.

They won't know that I bled out in the passenger seat from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the thigh. They won't know that I saved somebody else's life. They won't know that it doesn't matter anyway because right after I saved her life she walked out into the blizzard and she's probably dead. They'll just think I'm some sort of dumb idiot.

And I am, and so is Christine. Christ. Who brings a loaded gun on the way to a family gathering? A meth head that's who. Fucking Christine. God damn it. I knew she and Brad where on some fucking shit the moment I got in this fucking Plymouth Mini-Van.

I hope the tourniquet holds. I hope I don't die in this fucking Mini-Van. The ambulance is on its way, but I hope they can see me in this fucking blizzard.


Fuck. Don't go into shock. How am I supposed to not go into shock? You're a goddamned asshole. You know that? Well at least I'm not the asshole who brought a loaded gun. No you're the asshole who tried to take a loaded gun from a meth head who was driving in a blizzard waving a gun around.

Christ.

I'm so tired of her shit. She's my younger sister and she was always jealous of me. That's the way younger sisters are.

When I was pregnant for the first time she went out and got pregnant too. Even though Chuck and I were married. Christine just had to go out and get pregnant. Then she lost the baby. I wouldn't put it past her to actually lose the baby, but no she was just doing a lot of drugs and lost the baby because her body was shutting down from whatever she was doing.

I'm tired of being grouchy. I'm tired of being the one that always cleans everything up. We're too old for this shit Christine. I'm forty-three my kids are teenagers.

God I'm pissed.

I hope that ambulance fucking gets here.

New. Personal rule. Never get any vehicle with Christine. Even when you think she's been sober for eight months. Note To Meg. Fuck Christine. I honestly don't care if she dies out there. Like from a logistical level now.

I know, I know, that sounds cold, but that bitch just shot me in the leg on our way to Mom and Dad's house.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. That hurts.

There's the ambulance.

Good.

Christ.

Goddamn it Christine.